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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

emigrating to canada

November 1st
Moved to Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The scenery is great, the trees are so tall. Can't hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.

November 5th
Canada. It is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

November 211th
Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here.

December 2nd
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada.

December 12th
More snow last night. The snow plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

December 19th
More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shovelling. That fucking snow plow.

December 22th
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shovelling. I think the snow plow hides around the corner until I'm done shovelling the driveway. That freakin idiot!

December 25th
Merry freakin Christmas! More freakin snow! If I ever get my hands on the freakin idiot who drives the snow plow I swear I'll kill the idiot. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the freaking ice.

December 27th
More freakin white shit last night. Been inside for three days now except for shovelling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white crap and it's so freaking cold. The weatherman says to expect another 25 centimetres of snow again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 25 centimetres is?

December 28th
That freakin weatherman was wrong. We got 75 centimetres of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plow got stuck up in the road and that idiot came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shovelling out all the snow he had pushed into my driveway, I darn near broke my last one over his freaking head.

January 4th
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those freaking beasts should be killed. They are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.

May 3rd
Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that salt they put all over the roads?

May 29th
I am going back to Ireland. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!


  1. So it only took you a bit over a month to get the white stuff out of your system then!? I think I remember hearing a certain someone saying they'll never get tired of snow, snow's so wonderful!? ;) Anyway, I hope your flightS back home went ok and see you soon!

  2. Anonymous30/5/07 23:12

    An Irish person complaining about the weather, what will they think of next :)

  3. Anonymous31/5/07 12:36

    Very good! You had me going for a while there.

  4. Anonymous1/1/10 16:35

    haha mega funny!!!

  5. Anonymous1/12/10 15:26

    Canada is a big place. Where did you go? Surely you must have researched the weather before you went.

  6. Went to Whistler, Skiing for a season, and what you see above is what one calls a joke.

  7. Anonymous7/12/10 21:57

    Has to be the funniest thing i've read in a looong time. Well done!

  8. Anonymous18/1/11 16:53

    Several wooooosh's there, well played sir :)

  9. Anonymous28/3/12 14:58

    How did you first apply - we want to go and we need to get a visa specialist and apply for our perm visas and get health/police checks. We want to settle in Okotoks, Alberta if poss...


  10. I think it was sometime in 2005, probably the end of the year.