bad thoughts

This is from Scott Adams new blog and published directly from Google Reader where I read it!! I know I will have to edit it again, coz the formatting is going to be all messed up!


Bad Thoughts:

I spend way too much time thinking of excellent crimes I could commit if I were a crime committing sort of person. Every time I read about hurricane-related looting, I wonder about the best way to do it.

I think I’d get myself a looting boat, stocked with a bunch of camping stuff, in case I got stuck in the disaster area. And it wouldn’t hurt to have a big jacket that said FEMA on it. I’d wait until a hurricane started to threaten a particular community and then I’d steal a car and start towing my little pirate boat in that direction, monitoring the news as I went. I’d set up camp near a target rich environment, tie the boat to a lamppost, up high, and wait for the storm to empty the city. There’s a good chance I’d be killed by the hurricane before I did any quality looting, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take for free pants that aren’t my size.

I might bring my own decoy puppy, in case anyone saw me climbing through a broken store window. I’d just hold up the puppy and yell “It’s okay! I Got her!”

After I did my looting – or as we white people like to say: “gather my supplies” – I’d motor my little pirate boat down the main street, out to the ocean, and back to my hidden lair that’s stinking of damp merchandise.